ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS

   The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and
   alcohol bottles, such as:

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may make you
            think you are whispering when you are not.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol is a major factor
            in dancing like an asshole.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause you to
            tell the same boring story over and over again
            until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause you to
            thay shings like thish.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
            believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you
            to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may leave you
            wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause you to
            roll over in the morning and see something really
            scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol is the leading
            cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may create the
            illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter
            than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
            believe you are invisible.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
            think people are laughing WITH you.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx
            in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and
            sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
            disappear.

         WARNING:  Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE
            pregnancy.


Thanks Rocco A. Benedetto
from the JokeMaster list