Nose-Picking Glossary ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE KIDDIE PICK: When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit! CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK: When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile. FAKE NOSE SCRATCH: When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers. MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT: You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert. SURPRISE PICKINGS: When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt. AUTOPICK: The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking. PICK YOUR BRAINS: Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum. PICK AND SAVE: When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did. PICK AND ROLL: No explanation needed. PICK AND FLICK: Ditto. PICK AND STICK: You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip. PAYDIRT: The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%. -- NOTE: I did not write this. I am publishing it on the web purely for the enjoyment of the human race. Apologies to anyone who performed or assisted in the creation of this document; I would have credited you if I knew who you were. -- Alastair Irvine,