Cinderella is all excited about going to the big ball. The day before the ball, she gets her period. She is REALLY gushing, and she is very upset because now she won't be able to go to the ball. Her Fairy Godmother comes to the rescue, bringing her a magic tampon. She tells Cinderella that the magic tampon will absorb anything, but she must get home by midnight because it will turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of 12. Cinderella goes to the ball and her Fairy Godmother waits for her at home. Midnight comes and goes and Cinderella has not returned. 1 AM & 2 AM pass by and still there is no sign of Cinderella. The Fairy Godmother is frantic with worry. Finally, at 2:30 AM, Cinderella comes rolling in with a big, lopsided grin on her face. Her makeup is smudged, her hair tousled, and her clothes disheveled. Her Fairy Godmother asks, with a mixture of consternation and relief: "Cinderella, where have you been?" Cinderella says: "I met this wonderful man, Peter Peter something or other..." -- NOTE: I did not write this. I am publishing it on the web purely for the enjoyment of the human race. Apologies to anyone who performed or assisted in the creation of this document; I would have credited you if I knew who you were. -- Alastair Irvine,