10 Ways To Get Fired
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1.  Whenever answering the phone, and its for your boss, say "He's under
    his desk screwing his secretary. Can I take a message?"

2.  Strip off all your clothes. Complain about how hot it is in the
    office, regardless of the temperature

3.  When your boss is on the phone scream "Dammit! I'm expecting a call!!
    Stay off the phone!!"

4.  If your boss bumps into you, start screaming sexual harassment. Talk
    in great lengths about the state laws on harassment. Get the authorites
    involved. Threaten to sue.

5.  Sleep with your boss's daughter. Videotape it. Pass out copies around
    the office. Brag about how easy she was.

6.  Steal various office equipment (pencils, staplers, desks). Frame your
    boss for it.

7.  When asked to do something start laughing hysterically. Continue this
    for five minutes. Calm down and say, "Oh, you were being serious?"

8.  Loosen the bolts on the boss's chair. Laugh loudly when he/she falls
    down. Play innocent.

9.  Whenever the boss starts to tell you a story, interrupt him/her with a
    story of your own. Make sure the story is boring and has no point
    whatsoever.

10. Send a dozen roses to your boss's house when their spouse is home.
    Sign an ex-flames name on the card. Next day, ask him/her how their
    evening was. Be obvious.

Written by Rob Hartwell. Mail additions to HARTWEL1@marshall.edu. This file
may be reproduced as long as this message is kept with it. @Copyright 1995