The Top 16 Things Overheard at the Presidential Inauguration


16> "Would you like fries with that, Mr. President?"

15> 'You have the right to remain silent, Sir...'

14> "Hillary, tell *your* daughter to quit throwing peas at the 
     Gores."

13> "Are you practicing your pocket veto or are you just happy
     to see me?"

12> "No, Ms Reno, I don't want to arm-wrestle."

11> "I don't CARE what the other presidents did -- I want mine 
     on velvet!"

10> "Twenty bucks says he bursts into flames the second his 
     hand touches that bible!"

 9> "If the President wants Mayor McCheese to give a speech, 
     Mayor McCheese gives a speech."

 8> "Uh, Senator Kennedy, sir, that's Paula Jones you're 
     hitting on."

 7> "Unit 6, this is Unit 10.  We have the suspect in custody -- 
     he identifies himself as a Mr. Limbaugh.  Says the 
     pistol's on loan from God."

 6> "Subpoenas!  Get yer official '97 Inauguration Souvenir 
     Subpoenas here!"

 5> "So for $500,000 I get front-row seats, the complimentary 
     dim sum, AND the cabinet position?"

 4> "False alarm!  Please calm down, everyone!  The President was
     not shot -- it was just Michael Bolton."

 3> "No, that's not the Al Gore Memorial - that's actually Al Gore."

 2> "Say, those don't look like the waiters we originally hired."


and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Presidential Inauguration...


 1> "What the -- Stop him!  He's taking the oath from a Domino's 
     pizza guy!"


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