Some of Jay's Rules for Life
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When calving beef, pay more attention to the knife than the nude waitress.

I was thinking, don't speed, run red lights, or keep turning on the
windscreen wipers by accident in someone elses quarter of a million dollar
car.

Puppy Steve might best this with Don't total a brand new BMW whilst
delivering it to it's new owner.

I am also thinking, Don't spend all your time playing with the cruise
control on a Merc instead of avoiding cars on the freeway. Not quite a rule
of life yet, but I did try.

Easily outdone by, Don't try tuning the car radio whilst hitting a tree
head on; and Don't ride your bike into a parked car.

Perhaps something simple like, do not help out with a science fiction film
festival.

Don't drive in a Salute of the Jugger costume. Although it did get me off a
speeding ticket when the cop starting enquiring about the costume, he
seemed to completely forget why he pulled us over in the first place.

Yet more car ideas for rules of life;

Never passenger with Doug/Burke whilst they are having a game of chicken.

Don't be the unfettered one holding down the wood in the back of a too
small car whilst a truck bears down on you... maybe it was John who was
drying his undies and this is why <grin>

Always have a good excuse handy when driving 8 people around in a car.

Back to simple ideas,

Never get in an argument with a McCaw

Never let someone you are sleeping with know you refer to them as a bonk-buddy.

Never buy a gun when you are angry.

Try and avoid setting off bombs in a place full of your friends.

Never meet an e-lover.

Never but never hit on a catholic.

Don't ask drunk people for directions

Only lend people books you are prepared to give away.

Don't stand over a dry ice bomb.

Avoid arguments about whether it flew or blew up.

Never pay for advice.

Never swallow an Aspro Clear.

Do not let anyone see you pick up and answser your mouse when it rings.

Never take a short cut via a Volvo.