The Top 16 Items in the "Republic of Texas" Constitution  
  
  
  
16> Tax code allows deduction for one hostage takeover/standoff per
    family, per year.  
  
15> Every Thursday: 2-for-1 drinks at Hooters!  
  
14> Nobuddy shuld be descrimnated aginst, less'n he's from New York
    (or is otherwise Jewish or Muslim or somethin'), or is just 
    kinda dark or differnt in some way.    
  
13> Barbecued ribs are legal tender for all debts.  
  
12> Congress shall make no law restricting the size of hats or belt
    buckles.  
  
11> Citizens to receive one vote per gun owned.  
  
10> Constitutional amendment requires 2/3 majority of both houses
    of legislature.  Either that, or Tom Landry's say-so.  
  
 9> The right to bare breasts, but only on cable, dammit -- not in
    real life.  
  
 8> Vegetarians count as 3/5 of a person.  
  
 7> Freedom of religion: you can worship the Cowboys *or* Willie
    Nelson.  
  
 6> Civil disputes that cannot be resolved in court shall be 
    settled by a chili cook-off.  
  
 5> Freedom of Delusion.  
  
 4> No citizen will be charged extra for gravy on French fries.  
  
 3> Cold beer cans can be used as "testicular temperature 
    regulators" when operating a motor vehicle.  
  
 2> State bird:  Raised middle finger.  
  
  
and the Number 1 Item in the "Republic of Texas" Constitution...  
  
  
 1> You have the right to be on the cover of Trailer Park Trash
    Magazine.  
  
  
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]  
[ The Top Five List   top5@walrus.com   http://www.topfive.com ]