Research has proven that your vocabulary actually shrinks or becomes impaired through the use of alcohol. Below are some examples to help clarify this phenomenon. Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk . . . a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk . . . a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk . . . a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you. b) Nope, no more booze for me. c) Sorry, but you're not really my type. d) No kebab for me, thank you. e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? f) I'm not interested in fighting you. g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing. h) Thank you, but I wont make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination. i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street. -- NOTE: I did not write this. I am publishing it on the web purely for the enjoyment of the human race. Apologies to anyone who performed or assisted in the creation of this document; I would have credited you if I knew who you were. -- Alastair Irvine,