VOICES IN MY HEAD A man was walking along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG! He looked around, but saw nobody. He thought, I must be having a hallucination. Suddenly he heard the booming voice again: I SAID, DIG! So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he found a small chest with a rusty lock. The deep voice said: OPEN! OK, the man thought, let's open the thing. He found a rock with which to destroy the lock, and when the chest is finally open, he saw a wealth of gold coins. The deep voice said: TO THE CASINO! The casino is only a few miles away, so the man took the chest and walked to the casino. The deep voice said: ROULETTE! Our hero changed all the gold coins into a huge pile of roulette tokens and went to one of the tables, where the players staring at him with disbelief. The deep voice said: 27! He took the whole pile and dropped it on 27. The table went crazy then everybody is quiet when the croupier threw the ball. It spun around the wheel for what seemed like an eternity, finally coming to rest on... 26. The deep voice said: SHIT! -- NOTE: I did not write this. I am publishing it on the web purely for the enjoyment of the human race. Apologies to anyone who performed or assisted in the creation of this document; I would have credited you if I knew who you were. -- Alastair Irvine,