Mabel's Online Cockroach Emporium

Are you obsessed with cheese? Do you wake up in the middle of the night wishing you were Jim Carrey's brother? Do all your friends think you're strange because you relate so well to Woogie from There's Something About Mary? Do you absolutely not want to buy a cockroach on the web from a vendor called Mabel?

If any of these are true, then bookmark this page right now. Here you will find much that is weird, objectionable, darkly humorous or just plain stupid. Why? Because oddball geeks like myself require an outlet for our "creativity" or we explode one day in a flash of green light. You know what they say about "bottling it up"...

You are hereby warned that viewing the contents of this site could drive you nuts, turn you into an introverted pervert (welcome to the club!) or worse... I don't believe that there's anything on this site that should not be viewed by anyone younger than eighteen. However, it does have links to other sites which may contain adults-only content. If this bothers you, install a content filter into your browser. I take sole credit as the author of all material on pages whose URLs starts with If you want to send it to anyone or do anything with it besides view it in private, please include my name & this page's URL and let me know by e-mail.

The GrapeVine


A column describing odd things which happen to geeks.

Other weird shit

Strange dates


Butt Chutney
Cell Slut
A mobile phone which can't make up its mind about which cell it's in. E.g. our kitchen is in Kensington and our front door is in Victoria Park.
You don't know what you're doing and you don't give a shit

Qualifications I wish I had

Which direction do you want your mind bent in today?

Alastair Irvine
Last modified: Mon Mar 12 23:30:10 WST 2001