Mabel's Online Cockroach Emporium
Are you obsessed with cheese? Do you wake up in the middle of
the night wishing you were Jim Carrey's brother? Do all your
friends think you're strange because you relate so well to
Woogie from There's Something About Mary? Do you absolutely not
want to buy a cockroach on the web from a vendor called Mabel?
If any of these are true, then bookmark this page right now.
Here you will find much that is weird, objectionable, darkly
humorous or just plain stupid. Why? Because oddball geeks like
myself require an outlet for our "creativity" or we explode one
day in a flash of green light. You know what they say about
"bottling it up"...
You are hereby warned that viewing the contents of this site
could drive you nuts, turn you into an introverted pervert
(welcome to the club!) or worse... I don't believe that there's
anything on this site that should not be viewed by anyone
younger than eighteen. However, it does have links to other
sites which may contain adults-only content. If this bothers
you, install a content filter into your browser. I take sole
credit as the author of all material on pages whose URLs starts
with http://www.ucc.gu.uwa.edu.au/~alastair/mabel/. If you want
to send it to anyone or do anything with it besides view it in
private, please include my name & this page's URL and let me
know by e-mail.
One of my workmates needs a change of direction, so he's going
on a sabbatical to Estonia to write obscure poetry about
elephants. No he's not.
My housemate got sick of losing his keys, so he now uses a 286
motherboard as a keyring. And yes he does drive. And
apparently it doesn't get in the way. Treadhead.
- Burning ceremonies are cool.
Stupidest ad in recent memory: a man photocopies a sheep in
order to advertise mobile phones. There are no mobile phones
in the ad.
The other day I stayed up for more than 24 hours straight for
the first time. My brain was feeling pretty mushy by the end
of it. This was during the course of a 40 hour period in
which I had had only 3 hour's sleep. I think I'm trying to
find new ways of altering my perception.
Isn't it funny how you often get accused of social inadequacy
by someone who's a lot worse?
Mr giant PCB keyring has suddenly discovered that he can use
his Palm Pilot as a TV remote. Just wait 'til he hears about
the Internet Fridge.
It's considered good form to make sure that you aren't wearing
your t-shirt backwards before accusing someone of wearing his
Another of my wacky housemates seems to have developed a
strange disease which causes him to collect random junk from
the Verge Shopping Network and deposit it on our front porch.
We now have a Lanier computer. weeeeeeeeeeee.
Today I found myself eating fruitcake whilst reading USEnet
(alt.sysadmin.recovery to be exact) and listening to bad Nine
Inch Nails remixes at 2:43am. My life is truly over.
A column describing odd things which happen to geeks.
- The shortest e-mail address I've found so far: email@example.com
- Heretofore most flagrant abuse of the Domain Name Service: cr.yp.to
Other weird shit
- 26th Nov: Buy Nothing Day
- Butt Chutney
- Cell Slut
A mobile phone which can't make up its mind about which cell
it's in. E.g. our kitchen is in Kensington and our front door
is in Victoria Park.
- You don't know what you're doing and you don't give a shit
Qualifications I wish I had
- A Bachelor of Science (Cool band name creation)
Which direction do you want your mind bent in today?
Last modified: Mon Mar 12 23:30:10 WST 2001